First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
