K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So much rum. So many feels.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
