ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the day after is always just damage control
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
