he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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