Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize