shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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