the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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