Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
