I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
