Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize