Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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