Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize