She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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