i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
handjob tips. give me some.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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