If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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