Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
