one might say we're banned from that church
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
