What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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