are you so shy because you have an std?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
