All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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