When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
a search helicopter?!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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