11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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