so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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