That's when you crack a 10am beer
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
