I seem to have left my pride at pride
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
