Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
