the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
