And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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