The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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