I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
did i just pee glitter
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
