He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
