i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I lost the right to judge tonight
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
