Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
