Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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