Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
