Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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