On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
