Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
