U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
