Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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