is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
