well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
