I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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