508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
