I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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