so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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