all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
