My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
