I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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