If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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