Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
